Loser winner is crowned here tonight
And all of the contestants have become toned up and tight
With diets and heavy training we’ve lost loads of weight
But I’d say there’ll be burgers ate morrow even if they are only horsemeat.
The idea was formulated by “John” and by Mary
As we know John has a big mouth and is often contrary
Mary told me she has to have John’s supper ready before six o Clock
I didn’t think it would take long to fill http://lipitorgeneric-online247.com/lopid-cholesterol-meds.html up a trough!!
The local media have been hard on poor aul Billy Gahan
Who, aside from Art Murphy, is the world’s contrariest man?
He’ll question the result tonight and try and put Carton in his place
But he’d be taken more seriously if he’d actually ran in the race.
The race claimed a victim in the poor aul Hern
We all thought that he might need to be brought up to Larry Earle!!!
He went better on the Bike, Jaysus he flew like a sparrow
As he remembered to refuel with a pitstop in the Harrow.
The Square Donny Walsh has put a huge effort in
As he has laid off the fries and Brigid hid the biscuit tin!!!
He’s lost so much weight, there’s been talk of a comeback
But I don’t think we’d have much need for a second hand full back!!
Tomsollagh and Killabeg have really got behind Frank Kehoe
Who’s not much to look at but a rale hoor to go!!
Frank likes to relax by listening to Beethoven and Mozart
As working with Shane during the day must surely break lipitor dosage the Man’s heart!!
The Boiler Murphy is truly one of a kind
As he is the only man I know who’s as tall as he is wide!!
With ignorance and impertinence he’d drive you insane
Sure I suppose that’s what you get with them Murphy’s of crane.
I don’t know what rules they operate over in Cool arrow
As Denis allowed he’d start t race over in the Harrow
“Walsh’s Woman’s blocked” John Carton ceftin was telling me
Well he’s not much of a hurler, but he might make a good jockey!!!
Fiona Gahan is very shrewd she’s always thinking ahead
As she arrived at the Weigh in, in a bra made of lead!!!
After the race, she went hunting and be the Lord Jaysus God love her
She was unable to ride as she couldn’t get the leg over!!
What can we do with Reggie Breen?
Who is possibly one of the slowest men we’ve ever seen
He surely thought of taking some performance enhancing drugs
When who stride past him other than the bould Jimmy Shugs!!!
I don’t have too much to say about Bridget Sinnott
Other than she’s married to Padraig, a big fucking Ginit!
I thought she’s be a tough competitor, but she turned in to a bit of farce
As she jibbed on Jim Gahan’s bloody assault course.
Stephen O Leary raced on even when he started to hurt
As he got inspiration from his custom made T Shirt
“You’ll only live once” crys Stephen the Motivator
There were times I thought we’d need the Club’s Defribulator.
On one of his nights running, Tom Breen actually fell twice
Once more and he’d be claiming to be Jesus Christ!!
Tom admired himself in the mirror, and said begod I’m like a bean pole
Deirdre told him to look behind him as all the weight on his hole.
With Gamers as my Psychologist and Shugs as our master Tactician
Poor Fiona was trying to curtail my diet and nutrition
Team Turner is a top class team, a model of efficiency
And sure who is surprised with an inspirational leader like me.
The assault course went ahead Thanks to Jim Gahan
I went to my bollox in parts of his land
Bossy Nolan performed the video man role
And if he produces it here tonight it will be shoved up his hole!!!
The walking track in Monageer has never seen so much action
And there’s been tense stand off’s there between each rival faction
With the likes of Frank Kehoe running, jaysus I’d have to take a second look
Sure we now even have square Walsh logged onto Facebook
Without Bridget O Loughlin and Mary Carton none of this could proceed
They talk that hard I often wonder when the fuck do they breathe.
With stewards and other club members, everyone pulled their weight
They have helped make the Biggest Loser event absolutely great
Also John Carton who was the events driving force
Mainly to help shed a few inches off his arse
Jos Loughlin got onto Carton, and John told him straight out
“Fuck up Loughlin! And shut your fucking mouth.
The Biggest Loser has been a mighty success
It has surpassed my expectations I’d have to confess
We’ll have to run it next year, as it livens up the place
And sure we’d have to give Billy Gahan the chance to run the Bloody Race!!!